It becomes increasingly more difficult to develop and maintain friendships as an adult. Work, relationships and responsibilities get in the way. I want to go out with friends but I've got a load of washing that needs putting on... a common excuse I have made in the past. The truth was, I didn't think I needed friendships. I had a good home life and lots to keep me occupied. So friendships just took a backseat for a while. One I realised how I could benefit from friendships, and how I could benefit another person by being their friend made me jump into making more friends, making time for friendships and socialising and stopped making excuses for not seeing people.
There is a coaching exercise which I learned to help you on your journey to making new friends. This set of questions is designed to:
motivate you to develop new friendships
understand the benefits of friendships
create your personal action plan
understand the benefits of being your friend
The friendship Questionnaire
The friend
Why have you decided to start making new friends?
What are the 3 most important qualities you want in a friend?
What are 3 qualities you don't want in a friend?
What have you appreciated most in past friendships?
What do you like most about your current friendships?
The self
What 3 things would you like to happen as a result of making new friends?
What can I bring to a friendship?
What has made me a good friend in past friendships?
What makes me a good friend in my current friendships?
What do I think will make me a good friend in my future friendships? [ie. what would you do differently]
What do I like to do with friends? [hobbies/ interests]
What may be preventing me from having successful friendships?
Where can I meet potential friends?
What friends do I already have?
What actions can I take right now?
For the last question, I have a blog post where I provide you with a free goal setting daily planner which you can use for this too.
Once you have answered all of the questions and decided what action you will take to gain more friends, write these actions down, break them into small, measurable, manageable chunks and track your progress with a planner.
Remember to have fun with this one, this is all about optimising your enjoyment of life and increasing your happiness.
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