Identity is a complex concept.
Am I my job title?
My hobby?
Am I my past?
My actions?
My dreams or desires?
Am I what I have?
Or what others think of me?
These are all common misconceptions. We are not what we do, what we have done or who others think we are. We are who we choose to be, and with self-reflection, we can understand a little better just who that is.
A common reason why you may be reluctant to make change in your life is because of identity. You identify with whatever it is you're suffering through.
For example, you're busy, and so you identify as being a busy person. Despite your ability to relieve some of your duties to friends/family/coworkers - you remain occupied, busy all the time because that's who you are. Right?
You don't like your job, you could start looking for a new one, but you now identify as someone who hates their job. Therefor, you still hate your job.
You can sometimes be a little pessimistic, you develop an identity of a negative person, and continue to act in a negative way.
You see where I'm going with this?
Just meditate on this for a second... This is a vicious cycle which we perpetuate ourselves. A world which we create and tell ourselves is true. We conform with the idea that we've created because it's easy, it's just who we are, it's more comfortable than making that change.
This is one of the biggest revelations I ever had when training to become a coach. It was life-changing!
Now there is an exercise which I will teach you to help you discover your unique 'identity problem'.
These questions require quite a lot of thought so please give yourself some time, answer them as in depth and descriptive as you can. Try and find a quiet space with little distractions if you can.
Q: Do you have any 'problems' which you consider to be a part of your identity?
Go into detail on how this impacts on your identity eg. Salesperson, pushy, confident, direct etc
Q: What do you gain from having this problem as part of your identity?
This is a difficult one, but if you are someone who complains a lot you could say things like 'I am relatable' or 'I get lots of attention'
Q: Is this who you want to be?
If the answer is no, then it's time to make a change!
This is where coaching comes in. A coach [like myself] can help you gain clarity over what changes you want to make in your life and keep you on track. I can provide you with materials, guides, information and so much more. If this sounds like the kind of thing you want then don't hesitate to shoot me a quick email to set up your FREE discovery call.
If you answered yes, amazing! I'm so happy you are who you want to be. You are in the place I aim to get my clients to!
Comments