Often, we don't realise that we have toxic traits that can affect those around us. I know it might sound strange but it's possible that may actually being enjoying your toxic traits.
Hear me out
Simple example is, your partner spends a lot of time working from home and when he's not working, he's on his phone.
You feel negative about something so you complain > Your partner gives you reassurance > You get a shot of dopamine
There are many similar examples of this in life and this surpresses our ability to be happy.
Truthfully, humans bond through sadness, mutual depression, coming together in tragedy. Is it so hard to believe that you are expressing negativity and feeling emotional because you want human connection?
I urge you to complete this exercise:
Next time you find yourself upset/complaining/stressed about the same thing or performing the same habit.
1) write down the habit
2) where does it come from?
3) how does it make you feel?
4) how are you rewarded for thinking/acting this way
A while ago I was very stressed and insecure about being unemployed and so I performed this exercise on myself.
1) seeking reassurance from friends and family
2) insecure about being unemployed
3) feeling less worthy than those who are employed
4) dopamine high from everyone assuring me 'you're amazing, so talented you'll get one some day!'
Spot it, stop it!
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